I Look The Complete Series
by Christian1
Summary: I tried to clean this up a little. It's going to be done by chapters this time around.
1. I Look Down

I look down to see the man who should be my father embraced in a kiss with a red headed woman. Did they know? Did they know that I was to come soon? The path chosen?

I look down some more and see the man and woman laughing. So carelessly. They don't have a care to the world. Would they be ready for me? Would they want me, much more will they keep me?

I look down again and see them kiss. They have a glow around them. Tonight will be the night. The night I'm created.

I look down again and see them leaving in a car.  
Tonight's the night. No longer will I be in the shadow's. No longer do I need to dream. Tonight's the night.

I look down again they have parked at the hotel. Can't keep their hand's off each other. Will they be ready? Tonight's the night. They've made their way to their room. Still kissing and petting. I wonder if they know? I wonder if they're ready.

I look down again and see them in bed. I see her reaching her climax with him soon following. I hope they are ready. I watch as they sleep in each each others arms. I don't know if I should smile, or frown. I have not known them for long. Only for a few year's now. Are they ready? Will I be?

I look down again. It's been nine month's now, soon I will have to go down.  
Soon I will have to meet them. Am I ready. Will they understand? It's almost time now, I must go. I can see my Mommy and Daddy waiting for me now. Mommy in a white gown with sweat on her face, and Daddy next to her telling her to breath. Are they ready? They had better be, for here I come! 


	2. I Look Up

I look up and I see them smiling down at me. Finally we're together. The three of us Daddy Mommy and Me.

I look up again and see just my Mommy looking down at me. She's saying something I don't understand. She can't keep me. I'm afraid I close my eyes.

I look up a few day's later at my Daddy who's smiling at me. He loves me, with him I'm not afraid. I can see the love in him.

I look up later that night and see my Mommy flinging her arm's in the air.  
She's screaming at me. "He loves you more then he loves me" she say's. Who's he I say.

I look up again just in time to see my Mommy smiling. This is a change she's touching my face, now she's saying good-bye.

I look up again and I can now see the evil in her eyes. She's holding a pillow, slowly she brings it down on me.

I look up again and begun to wonder. Will I be going to just "Looking Down" once again?

I look up again and see my Daddy holding her. They're both crying. But Mommy's yelling at Daddy. I close my eyes.

I look up again and see a lot of people. People in blue, they say they are taking my Mommy somewhere for a long time.

I look up to see Daddy looking down at me. He has a smile on his face as he tells me he loves me forever. And tell's me Mommy had to go away for a while, but she loves me to.

I look up in a distance I hear. Mr. Hardy your wife need's to be committed. "Oh Amy, How could you do this to us"  
"Please Matthew, we need you to sign these release paper's"  
"Fine whatever, just help her"  
A Door Slam's Closed.

A Final time I Look Up And Realize Mommy was never ready for me.  
Now it's Just Daddy and Me. 


	3. I Look To The Left and The Right

I Look To The Right and see my Daddy sitting with his head in his arm's. Sad he is, all because of Mommy.  
I Look To The Left and see my Daddy again, a few month's have gone by..he's smiling again.  
I Look To The Right and see a new lady. Daddy say's she's the special lady. Our Special Lady.  
I Look To The Left and see Daddy and The Special Lady Kissing. Will she be our new Mommy?  
I Look To The Right and see Daddy and the Lady holding one another. I smile and remember how I Looked Down!  
I Look To The Left and see Daddy in front of me. He's saying Mommy Loves me, but can't see me anymore. I start to cry.  
I Look To The Right and see the Special Lady in front of me smiling. She tells me her name's Krissy. I cry again.  
I Look To The Left and see Daddy, he's mumbling something to Krissy. It sounds like Will You Marry Me?

I Look To The Right and see Krissy in front of me again. She's telling me she's my new Mommy. But I already have a Mommy.  
I Look To The Left and see Daddy Kissing Krissy.  
Daddy's in a suit and Krissy's in a white dress.  
What's going on?  
I Look To The Right and see a few month's later Daddy and Krissy are fighting. Mommy's coming to visit!  
I Look To The Left and see MOMMY! She's come for me!  
Mommy's smiling at me, she look's like an Angel. But the yelling!  
I Look To The Right and see Daddy yelling at Mommy,  
Krissy's on the ground. Mommy's hit her! I Look To The Left and see Daddy's with Krissy.  
Mommy's looking over me, what does she have in her hand?  
I Look To The Right and see a PILLOW! Mommy's trying to hurt me again! I start to cry.  
I Look To The Left and see Daddy's been knocked out,  
Mommy must have done it. Krissy's still crying.  
I Look To The Right and see the pillow descending again. Is this where the time end's? I begun to yell.  
I cry out for Krissy, saying her name. My first word.  
I Look To The Left and see Krissy's up and fighting with my Mommy. She's hitting her with punch's,  
suddenly Mommy's out cold.  
I Look To The Right and see Daddy getting up, he comes to pick me up. We then leave the house with Krissy.  
I Look To The Left and see more flashing light's.  
They've come for Mommy again. I see her come outside hand's behind her.  
I Look To The Right and see Krissy going over to Mommy. She tells her never to come near her family again. Daddy, Krissy and Me...a family?  
I Look To The Left and see the car holding Mommy drive off. I Look To The Right and see Krissy. Stretching out My Arm's to her, she take's me from Daddy. I hug her and he hugs us.  
I Look To The Left and see Krissy looking at me. She loves me. Not like the other lady. This is my Mommy.  
I Look To The Right one last time to see someone else looking down. I Smile Up To them. Knowing that they will soon come join me. I will have a new brother!  
I Look To The Left one last time to see soon I shall be Looking Ahead. 


	4. I Look Around

As I Sleep

I Look Ahead to see someone looking down at me. I Look Ahead to see that someone coming down to me.  
I Look Ahead to see another child here with me. Who are you I ask. Maria she replied.  
I Look Ahead to see her touching my face. Trying to memorize me.  
I Look Ahead to see myself doing the same. I feel I know her, but how?  
I Look Ahead to see her floating away. Is this a dream? Who is Maria?  
I Look Ahead to see Maria cry down to me. I'm Coming Soon! She say's.

While I'm Awake

I Look Before me to see my new Mommy's gotten huge! Daddy's hovering over her.  
I Look Before me to see Mommy crying out in pain. Daddy's running around like mad.  
I Look Before me to see Daddy picking me up and putting me into the car. Time to go he say's.  
I Look Before me to see we've arrived at the big building. I came from there! I want to say.  
I Look Before me to see Mommy's in a wheelchair, daddy and I are by her side.  
I Look Before me to see a mountain of block's. Daddy's pacing by some door's.  
I Look Before me to see a doctor emerge from the door's. It's a girl he say's to daddy.  
I Look Before me to see Daddy picking me up, hugging me. Time to see your new sister he say's...Sister? I ask..

My New Sister

I Smile Down at the miracle my mommy's arm's. I'm a big brother now. Smiles around I Smile Down at my sister. Mommy say's her name's Maria...I remember Maria.  
I Smile Down at Little Maria. Soon I'll be sharing the stories to her...my own stories.

Of how I looked Up then Down..both with a slight frown...Only Now can I Look Around...And Smile Down. 


	5. I Look Forward and Behind

I Look Forward to see my little sister playing in the leaves. She's 5 now, and I'm 6.  
I Look Behind to see our Daddy and Mommy swinging on the porch swing watching us.  
I Look Forward to see a little red car coming down the street. As it pass's I see the driver...could it be?  
I Look Behind to see our parent's haven't moved. It couldn't have been her. Daddy would have said something.  
I Look Forward to see my sister still playing happily in the leave's, so I join her forgetting about the car.  
I Look Behind to see Maria sound asleep in her bed. It's dark out now. I Look Forward to see a shadow move across my wall. "Maria?" I ask. No one reply's.  
I Look Behind to see Maria's still asleep. Who was that then?  
I Look Forward to see Mommy Amy in front of me. "At last." She say's. What does she mean?  
I Look Behind to see if Maria has awaken, she has for she's gone. I hear her crying.  
I Look Forward to see Mommy Amy dragging me out the window. Your Mine! She Says.  
I Look Behind to see rather hoping to see Daddy or Mommy comming..Noone does.  
I Look Forward to see the little red car...I was right...what's going to happen to me?  
I Look Behind to see Mommy Amy pushing me, she say's hurry. I am hurrying!  
I Look Forward to see her put me into the back seat, shutting the door, then get into the driver's seat.  
I Look Behind to see Daddy's coming! So I scream and claw at the door closest to me.  
I Look Forward to get smacked by Mommy Amy. Shut up brat! she scream's. I do as she says.  
I Look Behind to see Daddy's getting further and further away. I start to cry.  
I Look Forward to see Mommy Amy's laughing. I finally have you she yell's. I still cry.  
I Look Behind to see after an hour we've stopped. Mommy Amy gets out pulling me over the front seat with her. We go into this hotel. Look's dirty.  
I Look Forward to see Mommy Amy pay for a room. The guy say's they don't like kids she tell's them they wont even know I'm here. What will she do?  
I Look Behind to see her pushing me up the stair's. What wont she leave me alone?  
I Look Forward to see her open a room then drag me inside. She goes to a closet open's it then yell's for me to get in. I stand still and cry.  
I Look Behind to see the door close, she had dragged me into the closet by my hair.  
I Look Forward to see the darkness around me...I'm still crying...this time for my daddy... 


	6. I Look to Survive

In A Child's Mind

I Look To Remember the Past to when my dream's of a Mommy and Daddy were so real.  
I Look To Remember the Past to when Mommy loved me, she smiled at me and really loved me.  
I Look To Remember the Past to when Mommy tried to hurt me ... why Mommy why.  
I Look To Remember the Past to when My Old Mommy was taken away...and My New Mommy arrived.  
I Look To Remember the Past to when My Little sister Maria Looked Down upon me.  
I Look To Remember the Past to when Maria came down to Mommy, Daddy and me I Look To Remember the Past to when My Old Mommy came back for me ... she back for me.  
I Look To Remember the Past to when that Mommy stole me, hurt me, and hid me from Daddy.  
I Look To Remember the Past to when hopefully this would be all a dream...

The Darkness Around Him

I Look into the Darkness ... seeing nothing and yet everything. There are monster in there with me.  
I Look into the Darkness and know that Mommy Amy has forgotten about me. My legs hurt ... I start to cry.  
I Look into the Darkness, hour's must have passed. I'm thinking now. For I've got to be strong. Krissy, Daddy where are you?  
I Look into the Darkness wondering if they're coming. Or am I lost forever?  
I Look into the Darkness and hear Mommy Amy talking on the phone. "You Want him back Alive?" her laughing scares me.  
I Look into the Darkness and hear her hang up, now she's coming for me.  
I Look into the Darkness she's at the door to my little room. I can see her feet, maybe, hopefully she doesn't know I'm in here.

I Look into the Darkness and think, should I help her remember? I stick my finger's out under the door to show her I'm there.  
I Look into the Darkness waiting for her to notice my finger's. She gasps then step's on them. Crying once more, I wonder where Mommy Krissy can be.  
I Look into the Darkness holding my hand and crying ... Amy, she hate's me still.  
I Look into the Darkness and wonder will I ever see Daddy, Mommy Krissy and Maria again ... would I ever see anything again.

Pain

I Begun to Cry as I realize she's not ever gonna let me go. I'll be trapped forever inside this closet. Slowly the night pass's to day.  
I Begun to Cry as I hear her moving about, humming to herself. Finally she comes to the door. I Begun to Cry as she pull's me out by my hair. Please Mommy Please just let me go!  
I Begun to Cry as she pick's me up, throwing me into the bathtub ... I pass out as my head strikes the tub. When I wake I have blood on my face.  
I Begun to Cry as she scream's at me to take a bath. Please I say, let me go home! She then smacks me. I shut up.  
I Begun to Cry as I'm taking this bath, I can hear someone else in here with us. "He's taking a bath" I hear her say.  
I Begun to Cry as I soon hear them kiss. Crying of the memories it brings, for not to long ago I watched her and Daddy kiss, again she wasn't ready.  
I Begun to Cry as I get out of the tub and get dressed. After I open the door to see Mommy Amy and the man asleep.  
I Begun to Cry as I tiptoe to the door. Not making a sound...I'm Free! I open the door little by little.  
I Begun to Cry as I close that door. I'm free! Mommy Krissy, Daddy where are you! I begun to run.

Running From Fear

I Begun to Run, I ran out of that building she was in and down the street. stopping at a curb. I Begun to Run the other direction, coming to another curb. Stopping again for I'm not allowed to cross a street alone.  
I Begun to Walk now wondering how I would get home. I see a pay phone and remember what Mommy Krissy told me.  
I Begun to Walk to it, now remembering how to use it like she said to. Stopping at it, I dial home. Daddy answers.  
I Begun to Cry as I tell him to come get me. "Shhh baby." He say's trying to calm me. He asks where I am. "I don't know." Is all I can reply.  
I Begun to Cry as he asks if a police man is nearby. I say no. The only one by me is a woman with a lot of paint on her I Begun to Shiver as he tells me to put her on the phone. I turn and ask her. She happily obliges I Begun to Shiver as they talk...Suddenly I hear my name being called, I turn to see Mommy Amy coming towards me I Begun to Run once more, leaving the woman in paint, Daddy on the phone. Run Run Run...I begun to Run... 


	7. I Try to Remember

I Look Back to see Amy coming after me, why me I cry,  
why me.  
I Look Forward to see a police station. Mommy showed me one before. I run to it.  
I Look Back to see Mommy Amy gaining on me. Must go faster Must go faster.  
I Look Forward to see the Police Station getting closer. Almost there!  
I Look Back to see Amy's arm's go around me. She's got me! "Mommy" I scream.  
I Look Forward to see people watching us. "Help!" I beg them! But Amy say's she's my Mommy and they believe her.  
I Look Back to see people shaking there head's as we pass. I cry harder. I want my parents!  
I Look Forward to see we're back at the hotel. I start to shake. She's going to hurt me again.  
I Look Back just intime to see the door close to her room. She had thrown me onto the bed.

The Beating

I Start to Cry as I see her pull a strap from the dresser. "Please dont." I beg her."I good" I tell her.  
I Start to Cry as the first blow hit's my skin. It hurt's so much Mommmmy Daddddddy. I Start to Cry as I feel blow after blow, as the strap hit's my skin I can feel it start to turn red and hot.  
I Start to Bleed when she starts hitting my face with it. The first blow hitting across my left eye...I begun to shake harder I Start to Bleed more when she turn's me over and start's hitting my back. My cloth's are starting to tear.  
I Start to Bleed as she rip's off my shirt. She throw's it to the ground then hit's me one last time.  
Please make her stop.  
I Start to Shake harder as she pull's my hair. Where's my daddy...why doesn't he stop her. I Start to Shake as I feel the strap against my head...it's hitting the tip of my nose...please stoppppppp I Start to Shake as I begun to enter the darkness the last thing I remember is the blow across my neck...

Daddy? Day's later

I Try to Forget the past few day's. It's all a blur anyway. Anytime I move I'm in pain...head to toe.  
I Try to Forget the pain as Amy tell's me my Daddy and Mommy forced her to do this to me.  
I Try to Forget the past as Amy tell's me my New Daddy will love me better then my old daddy.  
I Try to Remember now and then who my old Daddy and Mommy was...and why they didn't want me.  
I Try to Remember as Amy tell's me of the thing's we used to do together. Amy loves me so, I think.  
I Try to Remember the thing's to say to my New Daddy for when he comes...Amy say's I have to... 


	8. I Try to Go Home

I Try to Smile as Amy clean's me up. My new daddy's coming today.  
I Try to Smile as I think of all the thing's my new Daddy and I will do.  
I Begun to Think though if there's a New Daddy...was there an old one? I ask Amy.  
I Begun to Think as she avoids the question. Maybe he got hurt and died somewhere? Is that why she wont say?  
I Try to Smile as Amy smiles down at me. "My little guy" she say's. For some reason I shiver.  
I Try to Smile as someone knock's on our door. My New Daddy's here!  
I Begun to Think as Amy let's him in. He look's so familiar...who could he be?  
I Begun to Think as I watch them talk. His voice and walk...I have seen and heard it before.  
I Try to Smile as Amy tell's me to come to her. She show's me off to the man, I feel like a prize someone just won.  
I Try to Smile as the man asks Amy for some tea. She say's she'll go out for some...leaving me with him.  
I Begun to Think as I'm alone with him. He's asking if I want to go home...I frown and say "I am home"  
I Begun to Think as the man examines me, the welt's,  
scratch's and bruises, now he wont want me.

I Begun to Cry as he tell's me thing's. I have a sister Maria...where is she.  
I Begun to Cry as he pick's me up. "Im taking you home." He said. "Where Amy can't hurt you anymore"  
I Begun to Shake as the memories come back. The strap,  
the closet...all the pain's come back.  
I Begun to Shake as I finally knew, the man who came for me is a friend of my Daddy's...Shannon.  
I Begun to Cry asking for my parent's. Soon the man say's. Soon.  
I Begun to Cry as we leave the hotel into his truck as Amy comes home. She scream's and pounds on the truck.  
I Begun to Shake as Amy pull's on the door. Please don't let her open it. I pray...I'll be good, I promise...please!  
I Begun to Shake as we pull away. Tear's in my eyes,  
I'm going home today.

Home

I Try to Smile as we pull up to my house. I'm finally home...Shannon help's me out and up to the door. I Try to Smile as the door open's. My family's inside...a woman comes into the room. Frightened I hide behind Shannon.  
I Start to Cry as Krissy tries to speak to me. "NOoooo please don't hurt me!!" I run to my room.  
I Start to Cry when I enter the room, straight to my closet for there I knew. Into the closet then will be the pain...Im home? 


	9. I Look to See

I Look to See Krissy and Shannon coming into my room.  
They're talking.  
I Begun to wonder when she'll come get me...how long do I have to wait for it to begun I Look to See Krissy coming closer. "Honey please come out of there." She asks. I begun to cry.  
I Begun to wonder what I did that was so bad that I had to be punished like this...why does everyone hate me?  
I Look to See Shannon tell Krissy he'll stay with me until he comes home. Who's he? I peek out the door.  
I Begun to wonder if this he person will be my New Daddy? Amy said I was getting one.  
I Look to See Krissy run out of the room in tear's.  
Amy never cried..why is she? I ask Shannon. She loves you, he says.  
I Begun to wonder why she loved me...and if she did why was I hurt? Because she loved me? Was that why? I start to cry

An Hour Later

I Hear Noises and crawl into Shannon's lap. Shannon wont hurt me...he's been playing games with me. He'll protect me.  
I Look to See a man come running to my bedroom door,  
suddenly he run's in and picks me into a swinging hug.  
I feel safe I Hear Noises so I turn to see him crying. Why cry I ask him? I missed you son...I Love You...He replies.  
I Look to See Krissy standing with my sister Ria by the door. I smile at her, then climb down off of daddy and run to her I Hear Noises as she holds me in a hug, telling me she loves me to. Daddy comes over and pull's us all into a hug.  
I Look to See I'm finally safe. These people would never hurt me...at least I don't think they wont.

Later that night

I Begun to cry as Daddy help's me get ready for bed.  
He take's off my shirt and see's the welt's and bruises. He starts to cry I Begun to cry as Daddy run's his hand's lightly over the marks on my back. Did she do this? He asks. Yes. I reply.  
I Begun to cry as I turn to look at him. He's angry now. I cower. Your not going to hit me are you? I asked I Look to See he's now crying again, he pull's me into a hug and say's no. He wont ever let anyone harm me again.  
I Look to See how sincere he is. His eyes are strong.  
I believe what he say's.  
I Look to See out the window. Daddy and the other's have gone to sleep. I look at the tree by the window.  
Amy stands there. I begun to scream. She's coming for me!! She's coming for ME!! 


	10. I Look to the Night

I Look to See Amy still standing there, she's now holding the strap. I scream and scream. Helppppp!  
I Look Up to see Krissy and Daddy come in. They run to me, it's then I see I'm sitting in my bed crying.  
I Look Down to see Krissy wrap her arm's around me.  
Shhh she say's. No one's going to hurt you we're here now.  
I Look To the right and see Daddy looking at Krissy.  
He's frowning at her. Did he tell her about my pain?  
I Look to See myself laying back down. I act like I'm asleep. But I can't sleep...Amy's here. I know it.  
I Look Up to see Krissy and Daddy talking. He's telling her about the pain. She's now screaming at him.  
I Look Down to see Ria has awaked to. She stay's quiet in her bed. I wonder if she knows what's happening.  
I Look to the Right and see Daddy and Krissy hugging.  
They leave the room. I look back at Ria.  
I Look to See one of my belt's laying on a chair.  
Wordlessly I stand, walk to it and start to hit myself with it. Ria cry's.  
I Look Up to see Daddy and Krissy coming back into the room. Why? Son why? Daddy asks. I woke Ria up, Punish me. I reply.  
I Look Down to see that I am shaking once again. Yet no pain comes, why doesn't he hit me?  
I Look to the Right and see Daddy crying. I go to hug him. I'm sorry I was bad. I say to him. Dont cry.  
I Look to See Krissy sitting with Ria on her bed.  
She's rocking Ria. I pull from Daddy.  
I Look Up to see that I feel like I shouldn't be here.  
I walk to the closet, stripping from my clothes and climb into it. I Look Down to see there's carpet on the floor...soften the pain...I wonder.  
I Look to the Right and see the door to my little room open. I curl up into a fetal position. Daddy's opened the door.  
I Look to See him looking back to Krissy. What did she do to him? She asks Daddy. Daddy look's back at me with tears I Look Up to see him reach in for me. He has me standing before him now. I start to shake.  
I Look Down to wait for the pain that will be coming.  
The closet mean's Pain.  
I Look to the Right looking to see the blood come...like last time.  
I Look to See into my father's eyes, I don't have to be afraid anymore...but the pain I just can't let go.  
I hug him once more 


	11. What to Do

Some time has passed,  
Yet the pain's still there.  
Some time has passed,  
With me still here.  
I can't stop thinking of how it has been.  
I can't stop thinking,  
of how it should have been.  
I'm Thirteen now,  
It's been month's since we've seen Amy. Amy is gone.  
I'm Thirteen now,  
Though deep inside I still feel as though I am only one.  
I wonder why As I watch Daddy, Mommy and Ria play. Why do I still remain here today.  
I wonder why As I sit in my room,  
watching them from afar. The pain for them has gone, but for me it shall always remain there.  
I Used to Wonder What had happened to Amy.  
She still danced in my dream's,  
But remains a vivid memory in my head.  
I Used to Wonder Why hadn't I just gone with her.  
The pain for them, could have gone. It wouldn't matter to me I'm empty inside.  
Why Can't I See The beauty the family before me see's...or the love they hold for everyone to see.  
Why Can't I See That the pain is actually at it's end. For me it's still there,  
still from beginning to end,  
Watching My Family Before Me I can see that I'm no longer needed.  
Watching My Family Before Me I can see how happy they are.  
I Hide Now When Daddy comes to include me. I deserve No Fun.  
I Hide Now From Mommy and Ria. They two try to include me. I see their face's when I join in...I make them sad.  
On my Own I should Be Forever in Pain, My heart Break's again.  
On my Own I should Be Away from Mommy, Daddy and Ria.  
Never again to make them cry.  
Never again to make them ach.  
I Look Across the Room Knowing what I should do.  
I Look Across the Room The Pain Has to End.  
No Longer for Me.  
But for Daddy, Mommy and Ria...

A short poem to add to the story

A world full of Love Just enough to want to Live Soaring High, Like a Dove,  
My Eyes Open to a new Life.

In the Year's I Learn,  
In the Year's I See,  
A Life I Morn A Simple Long paying Fee.

The Life I've Longed For.  
The Love that I've Seen.  
Was Just a Disguise For a world full of pain leads me to the end.. 


	12. I Look to See Again

I look to see the scissors on the table.  
it's time to end there suffering.  
I Look to See the mirror in front of me.  
Death while I'm watching. Fit for me.  
I Look to see as I picked up the scissors holding them so close on my wrist. Could I do it?  
I Look to See the frightened face in the mirror.  
I see myself, but my eye's I see different.  
I Look to See as I drop the scissors who those eye's can be. Deep, Dark and Cold.  
I Look to See a soft memory of a man and a woman embrace in a gently kiss.  
mommy and daddy?  
I Look to see the scissors on the ground.  
Picking them up, I hold it strong on my wrist.  
I Look to see the blood start to drip.  
A small smile reach my lip's.  
I Look to see the face in the mirror.  
Frightened I drop the scissors. AMY I Look to see the woman who haunt me.  
There before me smiling.  
I Look to see her point at the scissors More MORE MORE I hear her scream.  
I Look to see out the window. Hearing a noise.  
Scared I run into the bathroom, locking the door.  
I Look to see the blood on my arm.  
with a small whimper I wash it out.  
I Look To see my blood swirling down the drain.  
The small cut some how made me feel a lot better.  
I Look to see in the mirror, a smiling face.  
I'm smiling!  
I Look to see the small cut I made This I can hide, for another day.  
I Look to see, searching for a Band-Aid.  
Finding one, I put it on. With another smile I Join my family outside. 


	13. I Look to Hide

I Hide Behind the smile I bare as I enter the backyard, the family's there.  
I Hide Behind the smile I hold as they all turn to look at me, surprised I'm there.  
I Hide Behind this emotionless mask as I run and join Ria on the swing set.  
I Hide Behind the band-aid on my arm watching the happy smile's between Daddy and Mommy.

I Try to Smile as Ria comes to hug me.  
I Missed You. She says then run's to daddy.  
I Try to Smile for if only they knew. What almost happened just 10 minute's ago.  
I Try to Smile as I follow Rias lead,  
Sitting with Mommy, listening to them talk.  
I Try to Smile as Daddy looks at me oddly.  
He doesn't know...of can he?

I Run to the side of the house,  
Expecting someone to follow, only to hear where did he go's.  
I Run to Grab the hose laying on the ground.  
Maybe this will get their mind's back to being happy...I hope.  
I Run back to the backyard, hose in hand.  
Run!! I Yell, and begun to spray them all.  
I Run after each of them, soaking them wet.  
Knowing they're wondering...Maybe he's back to normal just yet. 


	14. I Close my Eyes

It's been two day's since I first cut.  
Thing's are great, they've accepted me.  
It's been two day's since the water fight I had hurt Ria when I made her wet, that night I cut again.  
It's been two day's now when I cut it hardly hurts.  
I know my teacher suspects something, she see's the mark's

I Look across my desk to see her looking at me..all the time.  
She knows something!! I'm scared, I'm Scared!  
I Look Across to the clock to see,  
The school bell should ring soon, I need...I need.  
I look Across as the school Bell ring's.  
Oh NO, She wants to see me!! I Look across my desk and watch the other children leave.  
Please Please Don't let it be, I plead.

I Look Up as my teacher comes near. She looks down at me.  
I Look Up in Fear...Yes..? I ask.  
I Look Up as she looks down a smile on her face.  
I Just wanted to welcome you back Chris. We missed you here!  
I Look Up just to make sure I've understood.  
Thank you. I said standing up...She didn't really know!  
I Look Up to excuse myself, and run out of the room.  
I needed to get home. The pain is to much.

I Look Down at the blade which laid in my hand.  
How much longer could I do this, I ask myself.  
I Look Down at the many mark's that are on my tourso.  
Dropping the blade I fall into the tub to cry.  
I Look Down to see the many mark's on my chest.  
It's to gruesome to bare...I pick the blade up again.  
I Look Down to see my hand quiver and shake,  
How much more can I take...

I Close My Eyes and ponder who this is for,  
For me? Ria? Daddy? Mommy? Amy? Who?  
I Close My Eyes and Ponder is this really ending the pain?  
Or just a curtain hiding the pain from me.  
I Close My Eyes and Ponder what to do.  
At that very Moment a knock at the door.

Guess who. 


	15. I Look for Hope

I Look up at the ceiling memorizing the pattern's The person at the door knocks again.  
I Look Up at the window the sun's shining through.  
Chris? Christian? I hear...Are you in there?  
I Look Over at the door knowing it's Ria I try to answer but the word's escape me.  
I Look Over to my hand the blade sparkles in the sun Please come out to play! I hear her plead.  
I Look Up at the Window yet again, memorized by the sun.  
I'm telling Mom on you! I hear Ria say.  
I Look Up at the ceiling with an uneasy sigh.  
Knowing they'll be back...they can't see me this way.

I Look Over at the door as I get back to my feet.  
They'll be coming soon...I have to hurry.  
I Look Over at the Window...just can't let it go.  
I can feel the blade in my hand...where should it go.  
I Look Up and feel something or someone looking down.  
Why is it my heart just can't let it all go.  
I Look Up and down as I open the door. No sign of Ria.  
Maybe mom doesn't know.  
I Look Over to my room as I start to head that way.  
Maybe tomorrow will be the beginning day.  
I Look Over at my poster of Daddy and Uncle Jeff Maybe I can be famous...which will be better then death.  
I Look Up and touch the Hardy Boyz sign. With now a glimmer of hope...I can be normal. 


	16. Hide and Seek

I open up my mind to the thought of being happy again.  
If not happy... I can settle with normal.  
I Open Up My Mind to the strength of this family.  
They have remained strong...for me.  
I Look in front of me to see Ria now standing in the doorway A smile on her face as she see's the poster and squeal's DADDY I Look In front of me and see the Love and Admiration Ria has for him I Smile and think maybe, just maybe I can have the same.

I Look Behind me as Ria runs past me screaming Play with me Chris!! Hide n Seek! Hide n Seek!  
I Look Ahead to see the door wide open With a sly grin I run out it planning to hide.  
I Look behind me wondering if Ria is watching Gotta find a place to hide!  
I Look Ahead of me and see Mommy. Hide! I yell.  
She smile's and point's to a cabinet under the sink.  
I Look Behind me and hear Ria Cry out she's coming With a giggle I watch mommy close the door's in front of me.

I Try to keep quiet as I hear Ria enter the room.  
Where's Chris, Mommy? I don't know she say's,  
laughing.  
I Try to keep quiet as I hear Ria calling my name.  
Suddenly bursting into giggles as the door's in front of me open.  
I Laugh as Daddy pulls me out from underneath.  
Look who I caught Ria! He laughs.  
I Laugh as Ria tag's me.  
I Caught Ya I Caught Ya!! She yells in triumph.

I Try to smile as that night moved on.  
Dinner time came soon after...I couldn't stop laughing.  
I Try to Smile as I wonder if I'm Extreme.  
Another Laugh it brings. For I know My Life will all ways' be Xtreme.  
I Try Not To Wonder if I'm leaving the past behind.  
My heart still hurts, which tell's me it's still there.  
I Try Not to Wonder if I'll ever stop trying.  
Being normal is not so hard. But I can't stop pretending... 


	17. I Can't Help but Wonder

I Try to Understand what it mean to be normal.

My heart cant seem to comprehend any of it.

I Try to Understand that the past can be let go

Yet my Soul seam's to yearn for it.

I Can't Help but Wonder why this is to be...

My body's still cover with Razor Mark's..and the pain's still there.

I Can't Help but Wonder if I do this for her

The mysterious woman in my dream's...and nightmare's.

I Try to Believe that thing's can and have changed.

Daddy spea's often of it. But if it's changed...why am I still here?

I Try to Believe that Krissy's not Amy...even in my dream's...

I can't help but wonder...what if she gets mad.

I Get so Mad when I look at my scar's.

Mad at Daddy, Mommy and even Ria...never at myself.

I Get so Mad it feels better when I cut...I though I could escape

The pain from my heart urges me to cut yet again.

My Birthday's tomorrow, Ria say's I'll get load of presents.

There's only one I really wont...and that's freedom.

My Birthday's tomorrow...I'll be fourteen then

Fourteen year's of sheer pain...

I don't know how much longer I can hide...

The pain inside is wearing to deep.

I Don't Know How much longer I'll last...

Yet tomorrow begin's a whole new year..

In My Room there lay's that picture...Daddy and Uncle Jeff.

I had once thought it would give me hope...Maybe it could have..If I had listened.

In My Room in the little cup next to my bed lay's the razor.

No one ever see's it..yet it's always been there.

Alone I look at the scar's over and over.

As the scar's fade away, I pray that they take the pain along with them.

Alone I Look in my room at the scar's, thankful that no one ever seen them...

Alone I look alone...at my bedroom door...Daddy stares in shock.. 


	18. Sweet Birthday

I Look behind me just in time to see my door lightly close.  
Quickly I pull down my shirt, frightened for who or what they had seen.  
I Look Behind me at the closed door, wondering what was to come next.  
Surely I'd be put in a hospital, put in a hospital and forgotten.  
I Go to Sleep later that night, praying for tomorrow to be different.  
Different from each and every other day, those day's with pain.  
I Go to Sleep wondering what surprises tomorrow will bring.  
Presents like last year and a cake to fit...do I deserve it?

In the Morning I open my eye's to a beautiful day...blue sky..bright sun.  
Could this very well be my wish and prayer's coming true?  
In the Morning I dressed quickly, scampering down the step's and to the table.  
Mommy's sitting there. Happy Birthday Sweetie. She say's. To her surprise, I hug her.  
I Look Up the whole morning, with my head held high.  
Nothing can break apart the specialness of this beautiful day.  
I Look Up that evening happy to hear Daddy was home,  
smiling when I see the box he carries It looked so big, it could contain anything, and yet everything all at once.

I Look Down as he place's the box at my feet, and gently place's his arm's around me.  
Happy Birthday son. He say's with tear's in his eye's. I hug him.  
I Look Down and wonder as I look at his gift, my mind I see thing's as an adult.  
Yet my heart and soul are still that of a child, a childhood taken away.  
I Look suddenly happy to feel my family finally  
around me as a whole.  
Ria by my side, Daddy standing now with Mom watching Ria and I.  
I Look quickly as I tear into the wrapping paper,  
ripping it to shred's Not caring where it land's, finally my eye's land on the gift that was hidden underneath.

I Look Over to my father, who's smiling back. A computer...I whisper..he nods back.  
This was what I had wanted...all the kid's at school said they had one...now I can fit in.  
I Look Over at my mother, surely she would object! But no, she's come over to help me open it.  
Christian, she say's. This is mainly for school work, but we want you to have fun to. I smile back.  
Together we put it together, Dad, Mom, Ria and I. It took us a few hour's but finally we got it to run.  
Later that night daddy came back, telling me I could use it to write my thoughts in. I just might do that.  
Together the night ended perfectly, saying goodnight I went to my room to try and remember it all.  
Spotting a plain white envelope on my bed, I rush to read it. Another gift. I thought, as I read it..I knew I was wrong. It read..."Together Forever, You are MY son. Happy Birthday, Dear Christian. You shall see me soon."

I Look across silently tossing the card away. She didn't scare me anymore.  
my family would protect me. Thinking again. I simply wonder.. 


	19. The Tears Slide

The Tear's slid gently down as I slowly fell to sleep.  
My mind wondered back and forth..from the past to the present.  
The Tear's slid gently down as I drifted off into a dream state Dreaming away all of the present, and allowing every wish to come true.  
The buzzing goes off early in the morning, the night's sleep left it's vengeance.  
Waking up I groaned as my eye's laid on the envelope that laid in the trash.

I Look toward the wall, just above the trash can.  
She say's she's coming back. I frown.  
I Look toward my dresser once again as if being pulled Quickly standing to my feet I walk over to the dresser I Look down a new gift laid there. Wrapped in green wrapping..with a big red bow.  
I Look Down at it, wondering who sent it. Slowly and carefully I start to open it Piece by piece..strip by strip the paper comes off.

I try to remain calm, but the emotion's inside of me are just to strong.  
I can feel the tear's welling up, daring to flood down.  
I Try to be still as I stare down at the box I had just unwrapped.  
Who sent this...what is it...I ponder that thought and open the box.  
The emotion's run thick when I see what was inside of the box.  
The belt...the belt I remember oh so many year's ago...Amy's belt.  
The Emotion's run thick as the memories flood back to me Each and every one taking yet another slice at my heart.

I can't help but wonder why she's coming back...why now...after so long.  
Is it still daddy she's after? I know she hates me.  
I Can't help but wonder while I hold that belt,  
remembering her smell, her touch..her pain.  
Everythings coming back.  
With Tear's in my Heart I place the belt back in the box, and then hear them call me to breakfast.  
They don't need to know...not now...I have to be strong.  
With Tear's in my Heart I hide the box and leave the room, leaving to join my family.  
I can't let this go on...Not anymore...Amy's coming home. 


	20. Good to Bad?

I Look across the table at my father who's eating,  
You, Mom, Ria will soon all be safe. I'll Make sure of that.  
I Look across the table seeing my little sister looking back I smile and fling some scrambled egg's at her.  
I Look Up to see Mom coming back to the table.  
She gives me the look, and I shrug. Whoaa...what was up with that.  
I Look Up to catch the quick looks between Mom and Dad.  
Frowning I stand up and leave the table.  
"Christian!" I hear behind me.  
I Look forward and continue to walk back upstairs.  
What's going on with me? I ponder that thought.  
I Look Forward glancing around my room as I reenter it.  
Grunting at the Poster I have on the wall. With ease I tear it off.

Smiling I Look at the torn poster on the floor.  
For some reason I feel at ease, and powerful.  
Smiling I turn to look into the mirror. Shocked to my discovery.  
I see another face staring back. It's not me...but it is me.  
Frowning I stare back at the face, trying to study the feature's.  
Sure enough it's me...but somethings different.  
Frowning I wonder what's going on. Just minute's ago I hated her.  
Yet now...I feel like defending her.  
Grinning back at the face I ponder why I ever hated her.  
How could I ever hate the woman that bore me.  
Grinning I turn to the door after hearing a noise,  
finding my mother there.  
"What do you want?" I ask. "what's going on." She counter's.

I Look Across and grin, Nothings going on. I say.  
Now leave.  
She looks hurt, but I feel something different.  
I Look Across, behind mom and see the woman...she..she.  
I'm looking at my real mother...at Amy.  
I Look Back looking once again at the shredded picture.  
"What did you do Chris?" the woman asks again.  
"Leave." I say.  
I Look Back to her, I know my face must be painted with anger.  
Mom even takes a step back. "Chris." she mumbles as I close the door on her.  
I Look Around the room, I think looking for problem's...yet finding none.  
Smiling I turn my radio up high, blasting Godsmack.  
I Look Around Smiling, full power running through my vein's.  
A power I'm starting to enjoy. 


	21. Homecoming

Many day's have passed since my New Awakening of sort's.  
I am distant from my family, yet they seem not to care.  
Many day's have passed since I last spoke to Krissy.  
I see her looking at me with tear's in her eye, I don't see why.  
I Look no longer to be brought in with the family.  
My heart remains forever more with my lift without it.  
I Look no Longer for the pain to come.  
The pain is no longer, just like the love.

I look past the stares of fear and worry.  
Maria and Krissy pass questioning glances, both wondering why the change.  
I look past the frowns of disappointment..from my father.  
If he only knew why I am the way I am..maybe he would understand.  
Looking to the future I'm waiting now for my mother.  
I see her in my dream's, and hear her in my thoughts..she's coming.  
Looking to the Future I now have to wonder this time around will it be different?  
My body and soul are not to strong to be broke, I think.

I stare at the wall while my family's gone out to dinner.  
Once again, forgetting me alone at home.  
I stare at the wall pondering the though of running away To the depth's of my own imagination.  
I Smile at the thought of leaving them all behind All the problem's and pain behind forever more.  
I Smile when I hear the door bell, maybe it's the Men in White come to take me away.  
Grinning I open the door, Smiling when I see My Mother. 


	22. Time to Go

I Look Up once again at the beautiful woman who bore me.  
She's finally come for me...finally come for her son.  
I Look Up once again to see her smile back to me.  
I've come for you she say's in a whisper, are you ready?  
I Look Across to see a new man sitting in a car Who's the guy? I ask, Shane McMahon she replies.  
I Look Across at the guy who is grinning back.  
He's with you? I ask and she nods..Mom's new lover.  
I Look Behind me knowing I should pack I run back up to my room, with Mom right behind.  
I Look Behind trying to watch her every move It's been so long since I last seen her..I realize now how much I've missed her.

Inside My Room I throw thing's onto the bed, not caring what.  
Only take what you can't live without. She tell's me.  
Inside My Room I finish my packing, clothes, hairbrush and my razor.  
Looking back inside the room before we leave, I take a small piece of the poster which lay's in the trash.  
My Heart inside feels so good, my Mother's back...everything is as it is.  
Should we leave a note, I ask her? She smile's at me, No They knew I was coming.  
My Heart Inside skip's beats as she leads me to the car..finally..finally with my mother.  
It drives off in a hurry once we're inside, where are we going? I ask..Home is the reply.  
I Look to My Thoughts as the car drives on, I think of the thing's I'm leaving behind.  
All of my thing's..Ria..Daddy and Krissy...Everything that was ever important to me...Left behind.  
I Look to my Thoughts wondering if my life will now change.  
Back with my Mother...and her new friend Shane.

I Smile when I think of where I am, I'm with her...and I'm going home.  
a few stray tear's leave my eye's.  
I Smile and ask Shane how he met my mother.  
Through our job actually, he replies, My Shinning Angel of Joy.  
I Look To the Right and watch the scenery play by.  
A few minutes go by, my mother asks..A Penny for You Thoughts? Then I'd be rich. I reply.  
I Look to the Right watching each and every house.  
Closer and closer we have to be getting...I'm finally going Home.. 


	23. I Want

I Look out of the Window with a smile on my face.  
Finally I'm going where I need to be.  
I Look to the front seat watching Mommy's hand's lace with Shane's.  
They look so perfect together..perfect with now me.  
I Look out the Window taking everything in.  
I want to memorize each and every little detail of my new life to come.  
I Look to the front seat and watch as they kiss..trying not to watch as his hand's roam all over her.

Thoughts creep through my mind of Daddy, Krissy and Ria.  
What are they doing now...do they even realize I'm gone?  
Thoughts creep through my mind as I start to feel sorry.  
Sorry for the pain I put Krissy through...for Ria through...even for Daddy.  
A Tear roll down my cheek as I think if I've done the right thing.  
Will this all be worth leaving behind...just for a new beginning?  
A Tear rolls down my cheek as I wonder were my new road will leave.  
I'm just a child...I can't help but wonder...can I...or will I ever grow up.

I Look across the seat as my mother say's were here. We must have been driving for hour's...my leg's are so cramped.  
I Look across the seat glaring at the house It brings back so many memory's...all of my Daddy's family.  
I Look up at Mommy...I want to go back I say.  
But you ARE back..She replies with a smile.  
I Look Up at her...back to my Father! My Mother! and MY SISTER!! I WANT TO GO BACK! 


	24. Memories Arrise

I Don't understand why she's now laughing at me.  
Don't laugh I scream at her!! Take me back I yell to Shane.  
I Don't Understand why she tell's him to shut me up.  
Why don't they listen...why did I agree to go?  
The memories flood back now...the dirty room..the closet..the pain.  
Shut him up! Amy yells to Shane. He's coming now..I scream louder.  
The Memories flood back as Shane grabs my jacket, he's a bit bigger then me yet still I fight him, he's pulled me out of the car but I've pulled free...only to run.

I run even as I hear Amy shouting from behind. Grab him, get him!! My own mind is to shouting...Gotta get away...gotta get home.  
I run even as I hear Shane's panting breath behind me..he's closing in on me.  
I must get away...I must.  
More memories come of me now running from her hotel room.  
I didn't get away then...I probably wont now.  
More Memories come as Shane tackle's me to the ground.  
Nice try, son. He say's. Your not my father. I scream back. Thank God. He replies.

My heart race's as he drag's me back to Amy, quickly my eye's search for any neighbor outside.  
Spotting an old man shake his head, then go indoors...my heart sinks..I've made my bed..haven't I.  
My heart race's the closer we get to her...when I stand before her she strikes me down.  
Damn you! She screams at me. I thought you changed!  
The pain race's through me as she takes a hold of my hair, dragging me along into the house.  
I've prepared for this you know. She say's with a smirk. I even brought some thing's to remind you.  
The pain race's through me as we edge closer to the closet...she must have felt me shrink back.  
Recognize it so soon, young Chrissy? She sneer's. We even kept the smell! She then throws me inside. 


	25. Alone Again

I look Down as she leaves me. Once again alone in the stench filled closet...Alone.  
Even as I rack my brain I know I deserve this, for I had to know this would be the outcome.  
I Look Down as my mind plays trick's on me. I see small shadow's moving across the floor.  
The shadow's scare me to all end's. For I know what they will lead to..this time..there will be no Shannon I Sigh and sit in the back of the closet, when they come back I have to be ready.  
when they come back...the pain will begun.  
I Sigh as I drift off into a light sleep..maybe if I dream..dream of my family...I may be able to stay there.  
It never hurts to dream...simply dream.

I dream of the happy time's with them...especially with Ria as we played Hide N Seek.  
I used to love her laugh..and smile...I'm going to miss that.  
I Dream of the happy time's with them...especially the talks with Mommy and Daddy.  
They would tell me I was forever loved...now I'll be forever forgotten.  
I'm pulled from my dream's with the rattling of the closet door.  
It's time...I say to myself...Christian...a voice whispers I'm pulled from my dream's by such a soft whisper.  
Who's there..I dare to ask...Me...come's the reply...Let me out..I beg the voice.

I look at the door, awaiting a response..yet there's none.  
where'd you go!! I cry out...desperate to hear the voice once more.  
I Look at the door wanting to cry..why wont she answer Please answer I beg, crawling I go to the door and look through the keyhole. No Ones there.  
Alone once more I go back to the corner of the closet. Will I ever hear that voice again?  
Alone once more...with my eye's locked on the door I await the next noise.  
Waiting to see if it will be a way out...or just the beginning to pain. 


	26. Rude Awakening

Time tick's on, I don't know how long...must be hours on end...no one has come for me.  
I can hear them, hear them chatter so lovely back and forth..Shane and Mommy.  
Time Tick's on, giving me room and space to think...I'm bad...bad..bad..bad..bad.  
They don't need me, no they don't..I say to myself over and over again...Not believing a word.  
The creaks in the floor are loud and scary!  
It make' me wonder if those creaks were placed they just to scare me...cause I'm bad!  
The creaks in the floor make noise's even when no one walks.  
Why, why, why must that floor creak and make those sounds.  
The Razor blade, I'm frantic without it. Desperate in need of a release!  
Where did I put it? I asked out loud, hearing a bang on the door followed by SHUT UP BRAT!  
The Razor Blade is my only hope now. For the tear's of pain.  
Everything needs to be released...can't hold it in no longer.

Someone peeks in every now and then. I know it's not Mommy...for it can't be.  
This is isn't mean looking...it's rather pretty.  
Someone peeks in I try to catch who, hurrying to the door before they run off.  
But I only catch a giggle or the word Silly Billy...Please I cry each time...Help Me!  
I wonder now when the real pain shall start...could it be soon?  
Or are they waiting for me to begun...I ponder that very thought.  
I wonder now as I begun to nibble on my wrist, ignoring the painful stabs it makes.  
Maybe, just maybe if I hurt myself...they'll leave me alone.  
I Look around the room, looking for some kind of tool, instrument...anything to help.  
The sooner I can get out of this room, the sooner I can leave this house.  
I Look around the room, my eye's on a frantic search...finding nothing as expected. They must have known...known of my plan. If they know of this part...will they know it all?

The door begin's to open after three hours of being inside, Shane's there smiling.  
Ready to be a good boy? He asks. I nod and he let's me out.  
The Door Begin's to open as I now walk out of it, my muscle's stiff crying in pain of quick movement.  
Shifting my eye's to and fro, I notice Mommy's nowhere. Where? I ask. Shane just smile's.  
I Look Up at the stair's just next to the room I was in. Up! Shane commands, I follow his word's.  
Heading up and up and up and up we reach the attic. The room is made up for a little child. Your room. Shane say's.  
I Look Up and down the room, taking in everything. Childlike it all is...but then again...that's me.  
A young man I should be. Yet never having the chance...simply a child...for now I shall be.  
I look down as I hear my Mommy's voice floating up the stair's.  
I'm coming little boy, to tuck you in sweetie!! My tummy churn's at those words.  
I look down as I'm being pushed into the bed. Having the cover forced up to my chin...by non other then mommy dearest.  
It is then I realize...she's not my mommy..not my Mom...she's simply Amy...The Child Hater. 


	27. Destiny

I watch in fear as they hover above me, yet the duo smiles down Smiling as though everything had forever been perfect.

I watch in fear as Amy reaches to stroke my cheek. Her hands are so cold, so cold. It is then I remember Krissy.

My mind moves elsewhere remembering her smile and the warmth around her.  
She had always wanted me to fit in, to be one of them. Apart of her family.

My mind moves elsewhere as I remember on, memories of the happy family they were.  
Even some happy moments with me. Dear God, what have I done?

The cold brings me back, the coldness of the room and everything inside it.  
Death by the cold, why does that sound so comforting?

The cold brings me back, back to the bed I'm laying in and back to Amy.  
I know my eyes ask that simple question, because the look in hers flash's over with pain. That simple question. Why.

I look up to Shane, searching for answers. There had once been a time, a time that I trusted him. He had been a loyal friend of my fathers, yes loyal indeed.

I look up to Amy, wanting to plead with her, just to let me go. Yet I remain silent in fear.  
Fear of knowing the answers questions bring.

I sigh deeply as they begin to leave the room, leaving me there, all alone.  
Alone I should be, forever and ever more alone, but first I must escape Amy.

I sigh deeply and watch the door close. Surely they have this place rigged. Knowing I would attempt to escape.  
Quickly I stand, wanting nothing more then to escape, escape into an open land.

Frantic I become, grasping the closed window. Growling deeply when it refuses to open.  
Should I break it? I ponder that very thought, coming to the conclusion that they may hear

Frantic I become, racing to the door and grabbing the knob. No matter how hard I twist, it doesn't budge. I'm locked inside.

Falling back onto the bed, I'm beginning to realize how strong destiny takes a hold.  
No matter how many times I try to fight it, I'll always be stuck inside.

Falling back against the pillows, I now know where my destiny lays.  
I was born into this life from hate, therefore I should die in sin.

I think to myself how right it shall be, welcoming death with arms wide open.  
Now it's just a matter of time, I lay back into the bed and listen to the soft ticks, knowing soon I'll be hearing my final one. 


End file.
